Hope He Doesn't Expect A Honeymoon

Stinger says, "Your ass is on the line Howson."

Blue Jackets Hire Edmonton Oilers Assistant GM Scott Howson as General Manager

After 7 years as Assistant GM for the Oilers, Scott Howson was officially paraded in front of the press today in Columbus. He’s a Canadian (obviously, eh?), but has played minor league hockey in Toledo and apparently has a hard-on for the Cincinnati Reds.

I’m listening to the press conference now and it’s been pretty standard stuff. He’ll bring accountability and commitment, blah blah blah. He does have a notable difference in disposition from Doug Mclean, whom he is replacing. Doug had a barely restrainable contempt for most media types (ask 1460 The Fan’s Mike Ricordati). This guy at least seems to be in better control of his seething hate.

The one notable difference between him and Mclean is that he and other current Blue Jacket officials keep reiterating that he is against rushing young players into the lineup before they are ready. A not-so-subtle jab at Mclean’s propensity to play 19 year olds. Makes sense to me, but it also sounds like they’re basically telling us to prepare for more sucking until the young talent comes on. This guy doesn’t strike me as the type that will go after big free agents to fill in the gaps in the meantime.

Again, I like the philosophy of patiently building with the Draft, but the team is 6 years old now. I don’t want to wait another 2-3 years for our talent to develop us into a contender.

Howson on why he chose to come to Columbus rather than inherit the reins in Edmonton: (paraphrased) “Columbus is a sleeping giant talent-wise with a passionate fan base”. This is the same reason that Hitchcock cited when he signed on with the team midway through last season. Apparently some honest-to-God Hockey People see some signs of hope around here. Glad somebody does. I see a team that can’t play Defense, a superstar in Nash who is great but can’t carry the team yet (if ever), and Nikolai Zherdev who plays hockey like Kobe Bryant plays team basketball.

The new boss has also prepared his Naughty and Nice lists and wasn’t shy about telling the media he has done so. Apparently there will be no favoritism and roster spots will be earned. Not sure what that means for the Fedorovs and Footes on the team though. A hardline team-first philosophy could mean strong management support for moving Sergei to the blue line permanently next season if Hitch decides he wants to do that (I hope so). Hitch has indicated it’s a possibility in interviews since the season ended, but Sergei doesn’t sound all that receptive to the idea.

As for Foote, he’s way over the hill and I’d rather see the money spent on an actual No.1 Defenseman. It sad watching him get beat by kids who’s brains he should be splattering on the ice. Time to go chief.

So we’ll see what happens I guess. Mr. Howson now has to prepare for next week’s draft, but I’ll be watching what happens in Free Agency a little more closely. And not just because I don’t know shit about Junior Hockey prospects. If we’re going to have a realistic shot at squeaking into the playoffs this next season, we’re going to need some solid guys added to this roster. Particularly on the defensive end. Because if this guy can’t get this team competitive in the short term, there aren’t many of us left who are willing to wait to see a 5 year plan come to fruition.

Cleveland Sees First Championship Since 1964

Too bad somebody else won it...

"Hey LeBron, the locker room is that way."

Spurs Clinch NBA Finals on Cleveland’s Court

Congratulations to LeBron James and the Cavaliers in upholding the finest of North Coast traditions: losing memorably. If you know anything about Cleveland sports, you know that our teams don’t just lose, they lose in ways that you’ll never forget. Already, the Mike & Mikes and Colin Cowherds of sports talk radio are proclaiming the Cavs the worst NBA Finals team ever. A hard case to refute when you get swept in 4 games.

As I said, this continues a long tradition of spectacular failure. Most people are familiar with the Browns' epic success at sucking. 3 playoff runs in the 80’s were ended in utterly heart-breaking fashion. Red-Right 88: team down in the final minutes, marches down the field for a game saving TD, only to be intercepted in the End Zone to lose to Raiders (who eventually won the Super Bowl).

Then, John Elway. That horse-faced motherfucker. The Browns were the AFC favorites to go to the Super Bowl and even had home-field advantage in the AFC Championship game. The Browns had the lead in the final minute. Cue the tragedy, the Broncos march down the field and win the game with a TD. Two years later, the Browns were in the same game, only they had the ball marching down the field at the end, needing a TD to win. This time, Earnest Byner fumbles the ball on the goal line, Broncos recover. Both games are now referred to simply as “The Drive” and “The Fumble” respectively. The Browns have only been back to the playoffs twice in the nearly 20 years since. They were rolled in the first round both times.

Hey, at least the Browns gave us hope. The Indians suffered in abject futility for decades. I can recall attending games at Cleveland Municipal Stadium in my childhood, when there could have only been 5,000 fans in the stands on any given night. When they finally made it to the World Series in ‘97, they couldn’t close out Game 7 in Florida and lost in extra innings. Thanks for nothing Jose Mesa.

Finally, there are the Cleveland Cavaliers. If you only listen to ESPN, the Cavs were in the Sports Wilderness from their inception until the drafting of Lebron. But that omits a small window in the early 90’s that the Cavs used to inflict heartbreak on its fans: remember that immortal clip of Michael Jordan nailing a 3 pointer at the end of the Eastern Conference Finals to take the Bulls to the championship? He hits it and then jumps about 15 feet in the air, pumping his fist. That was against Cleveland. It was poor Craig Ehlo defending the shot (and defending it soundly, might I add). The Cavs actually weren’t all that bad in those years. I don’t know if they were Championship-caliber, but they could have played in a Finals series or two. Unfortunately, as is the case with a few others teams of that period, MJ’s Bulls are the only team anyone will remember.

This is just the way things go around here. We’re used to it. We just suck it up and move on, blindly optimistic and ready to believe yet again that next time will be different. After all, training camp starts in about a month and we’ve got Brady Quinn.

GOP Prez Candidate Brownback supports forced pregnancy for raped women

By JIM DAVENPORT
Associated Press

TAYLORS, S.C. — Sen. Sam Brownback, campaigning for president on Saturday before the National Catholic Men's Conference, questioned whether rape victims should get abortions.

"Rape is terrible. Rape is awful. Is it made any better by killing an innocent child? Does it solve the problem for the woman that's been raped?" the Kansas Republican asked at the St. Joseph's Covenant Keepers gathering."We need to protect innocent life. Period," Brownback said, bringing the crowd of about 500 to its feet.

The GOP Presidential Primary is a cesspool, but this guy really takes the cake. I have to admit, I’ve been too dismissive of the inroads being made by the Right when it comes to Women’s Reproductive Rights these last few years. If a candidate for President can say something like this, disregarding the fact that he’s a 2nd tier candidate at best, then the terms of the Abortion Debate have swung too far back to the Right. Speeches like this are the proverbial canary in the coal mine.

I’ve been trying to come up with an analogy that could demonstrate what this must sound like to a woman who’s been raped. I figured there had to be some hypothetical situation that I could use to illustrate to a man what it must be like to carry a rapist’s seed to term. But there is no analogy. Which is why asshats like Brownback can make these speeches to the National Catholic Men’s Conference and nobody will make a peep about it.

I’m sure it’s much easier to deposit campaign donation checks than it is to contemplate the horror of being raped, impregnated against your will, and having to raise that child alone. Because when it comes down to it, there are only two constituencies that matter in the Republican party: Big Business and collections of embryonic cells that may or may not someday become fetuses. Everybody else? You’re on your own. It’s an Ownership Society, bitches.

...and the agony of defeat

A fitting night to start this blog.

The Cavs go down in 3-0 in the NBA Finals to the Spurs, 75-72.

So what better time to try to forget that the city of Cleveland hasn't won a championship since before Jim Brown was known for things outside of beating women?

Welcome to Cleveland, Ohio Jamal Lewis

Jamal used to play for the City That Stole Our Fucking Team, until this past offseason when they decided he didn't have enough left in the tank. Enter the Browns, already running on fumes.

Here, the question is whether he has enough gas in his tank to lead Baltimore's division rival out of the wilderness. No player on the Browns is being counted on more heavily in the coming season than Lewis. There is no Plan B if Lewis blows a tire over the long 2007 season.

"I don't wonder if he has the gas. I'm counting on it," new offensive coordinator Rob Chudzinski said in an interview last month.

Lewis had some great seasons in Baltimore. In fact, in two games he ran for a combined 500 yards against Cleveland alone. But stats like that will be a thing of the past given his age and the fact that he'll only get to face a defense of Cleveland's caliber in practice.

I'm naturally going to be biased against him though. Years of loathing don't just go away, even if you are wearing the right jersey now. The jail time for a small time coke deal doesn't do much for me either.

But that's nothing 1300 yards and a trip to the playoffs couldn't cure.